...you know that good feeling when you've earned your ease? Settling into your pillows with such a sense of satisfaction that there is a load of very important clothing set to wash in 6 hours (I LOVE MY WASHING MACHINE! I should blog just about how much I love it!) and you've worked all you can for the day. Yes, there is probably a literally 13 gallon trash bag full of dust bunnies and their friends spread in little piles all over the house, and hubby has to sleep on the couch because I just could not get his clothes from the bed to the closet (he is so understanding...and since his stroke he has very odd sleep hours and it works well for both of us to have a break like that). I'm sleeping in a spot on my side of the bed that was freed up by pushing and folding over the clothes and whatnots so I had a space; there is STILL hay that fell out of the guinea pig cage on the entertainment center because I can't get to it as I have laundry baskets full of clean clothes (at least they're clean!) in the way; and I'm generally surrounded by the chaos of my bedroom that had become the place where all things go to die. BUT...my dear sweet friend came over and in just 2 hours made such an enormous dent in the chaos that I now have a way through it and can handle it!
You know how sometimes you just need to borrow some emotional energy from a friend? Another amazing friend with a true gift for creating order in 60 seconds flat spent 2 days with me and my kids helping me sort through an entire garage full of "stuff" that we had not looked at in 2 years. We emptied the garage out onto the lawn and driveway (thank the good Lord for my hedge...it was a fairly secret mess). It was an incredible accomplishment, truly. All that's left outside are plastic storage totes that are intact with matching lids that we'll disinfect tomorrow, then distribute throughout the house so we can start organizing inside. "Toss, Give, Keep." The main emphasis being "get it OUT of the house!"
My "stuff" didn't used to be worthless stuff. I had some of my children's clothes from 8 years ago...all my fave shirts and dresses and a couple tighty whities even that gave me such fond memories of my babies. Lots of GREAT books. My wedding dress. Very sadly, a troupe of rats took up residence in the garage (and since we didn't go out there we didn't know!) and managed to eat through and nest inside most of the boxes. My poor wedding dress :-( I think the cleaners can save it though. But ya, a lot of nastiness. Our garage is now completely empty except for a couple items, and a tarp with items we yet have to deal with (and those are very few). I'm SO PROUD OF US! I'm so proud of ME!
I've been living with back pain since I broke my back in a freak fall when I was 17. By the time I was 28 and had had my 3rd baby (who was over 10 pounds and nearly broke my back again in 9 months time), I had severe degenerative disc disease and needed a spinal fusion. I put it off as long as I could (if you need back surgery, don't put it off...you just end up with nerve damage from your nerves being compressed too long). I didn't heal well. I couldn't go back to work. And the church my husband had pastored for 5 years didn't take kindly to their pastor's wife being on "dope" (pain meds) longer than 10 days, and thought I was completely failing at my job as pastor's wife by no longer being able to sit through sunday school AND worship service, much less play piano for it. They voted to fire us at Christmas, but we didn't get the news til after the 1st as the district superintendent forbade them from telling us as our Christmas gift.
That was the first explosion of my life.
Anyway, more later. For now I have to find a way to turn my brain off and get some rest. I'm so excited to get up and get cleaning tomorrow! And I'm excited to go get my last immunization needed to start my clinical rotation as a phlebotomist Monday (I went to school all summer to become a phlebotomist/lab assistant as my hubby is now disabled from his stroke...let me just say that social security disability is a blessing, but it's a tiny blessing.) I'm excited about the gorgeous red yarn sitting beside me and want to cast on for a pair of socks...no no no, must go to sleep!
If you're still here, I just want to say "God bless you." It's cathartic to say these things to "someone" instead of "dear diary." I always felt like an idiot writing to nobody. But even an anonymous "somebody" is all I need to be able to pour off a bit of all that has me filled to over-flowing and allows me to rest a little easier. So thank you for being "somebody" and listening (I don't even mind if it's just out of morbid curiosity!).
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